jus the feelings out poured by a girl who was both in a bitter sweet relationship. it deals with her past love and present love.. differences in both..
Apsara, a teenage girl whose life was damn perfect with all the luxuries and comforts until that black day came in her life. She is a kind of girl who is obsessive about love and believes in luck. The only thing that she loved was love stories. For her love was going crazy for each other. The guy she chose for her life was perfect from her view because she loved those imperfections in him. It was a dreamy long distant relationship. They never met after their fifteen. It is just love that bloomed over phone calls with trust and hopes. Those sayings for love age, distance etc are just numbers were proven right here. The only mutual thing between them was their differences. The girl is an orthodox and the boy is an atheist, marriage at 24 was just a crap for the guy but for the girl it was a reasonable one, and lots more like that. This love story never had the same dialogues, same scenario, nothing like the usual ones. Often they don’t say love you to each other for the guy doesn’t believe in it. They were in relationship just because the guy proposed and girl accepted but still happy as what they are and what the individual is. One fine day the sounds of silence broke off. The guy told her about the cold war in his family and pleaded for a breakup from her. She too accepted as he wanted it from her and it was a mutual breakup. Breakups were a common thing in their relationship; reunion was also of the same kind. The last time it was a serious one. The girl went through a total hell. This breakup dint spin a new a love story but a saga.
In front of her was the fate again with its devilish traits. She had no other option rather than to cry to her bed and laugh to the people. Slowly in the aim of forgetting things for a while she started spending her time in things diverting her to forget the past. Slowly she got too many friends and too many options for being individual of her own. Those became her drugs to live her life. Then she met with a guy named Aaradh, who meant nothing to her in the initial. Later all her evenings till 10 in the night were spent exclusively with him. For the first time they had a whole day together in a carnival function. All those things that were found missing was again visible. He was all the broken parts of the people who have hurt him and she was all the broken pieces of people who have left her. That’s where the bond began. And in just one moment her life has changed. Life takes so many twists and turns. She never knew what’s going to come in the mail, what news is gonna end up on the receiving end of that phone call, or who is going to enter your life next. All she knew is that things change. He was more than all the people who have come into her life and swept her off her feet. Sometimes people are like revolving doors in your life, one leaves, another one comes. Love for one slowly evaporates and turns into love for another with time. She remembers that someone once told her everyone is either a blessing or a lesson. On a rainy night the proposal was made and it was accepted in a heavenly night. And right there one more love story had been created. Love flourished in all his words, actions, looks. She was completely drenched in his love. She loved him to the moon and back. She wanted to freeze those moments when they first held their hands, first outing, first romance between them and every special moment in their life. He was the firework that caught her off-guard on nights when she thought that magic is impossible. The thing which she thought as an embarrassing one happened to her, love after love failure exists and then she realized that it wasn’t an embarrassing one but worthwhile thing to lead a perfect life.
Day by day he was everything for her. He was all the Mr. Perfect she dreamt of and all she needed. The guy was also different from her perspectives but he knew no one can walk holding the right hand of other with your right hand. They had small fights, long talks, sweet apologies, midnight chats, video calls, frequent meetings and rare outings. Their love was just an example for the best love which had no poets to write it. For Aaradh she was the one who taught what love is, what compromises are, what a girlfriend means, how to behave, for her to be happy, how to respect a girl and in general everything. Life meant everything that was far better than a fantasy to her. She loved everything that once she hated, she loved music, she loved flowers, she loved the skies, and at last she loved the love. Made for each other is just a phrase for her until she met him and now she is into him.
The girl what she is now once had gone through was the life of a typical love failure girl who is sitting on her bedroom floor, dry-heaving, her body convulsing with each failed attempt at silencing the sobs, banging her fists onto the ground as she tried to make sense of it all. She felt completely worthless and she was emotionally ruined. She dint hate him, Instead she wants to thank him.
Despite it taking her months, she finally realized that it wasn’t her not being good enough for him, but him not being good enough for her. These words have resonated with her for some time, and she was constantly reminding herself that she deserve better than the distorted perception of love that was handed to her on a tarnished silver platter. She deserves better than being ignored, she deserve better than being manipulated, and she deserve better than him.
She then knew she was not the same girl who was on her bedroom floor that night, because she would never give someone complete power over her where she lost control; complete power over her where she felt she was worthless. These were all the confidences given by her new love. Aaradh’s shoulders were the best place for her to lean on, for her to feel safe and secured. It was those hands once which took her to shore from the wild waves of past and now its shoulders like the beach sand which stick to her till the end.
She was consumed by nothing but negativity, and for a while she thought he was her only source of light. She was drowning and every single day she woke up and hoped him hand would pull her up to the surface and save her. She was wrong. That night was the night she realized your hand was never there to save her, but instead there to push her deeper below the surface. The only hand she acquired was her new love. That was the thing that built her to what she is now. A girl who knows only what happiness is.
He was her darkness and took her too long to realize this. She know he is a good person, but next time he ask himself of what it was he ever did to her, she wants him to think of the girl crying on her bedroom floor. She wants him to think of the girl who couldn’t sleep because the nightmares were worse than reality, which had become her own personal hell. She wants him to think of the girl who couldn’t eat because she had no appetite from the anxiety caused from thinking she did something wrong. She wants him to think of the girl who hated herself so much she had to force herself to get up in the morning, only to crawl back into bed hours later. She wants him to think of the girl who had countless silent breakdowns, hoping her parents wouldn’t hear. She wants him to think of all the things he never saw, all the things he never experienced, all the things that were kept hidden.
And now she wants him to think of the person she has become, and she wants him to know that she is thankful for him creating a monster. She’s no longer a monster and she no longer have to force happiness as her happiness was always with her in the form of Aaradh. No more does she has to seek validation from others that she is worthy. She is thankful he was a part of her life, because he became the best, worst thing to happen to her. She dedicates these wordings to all the guys who cheat on their girl.
She does hopes he is happy, and just know she don’t regret him. She would never wish for him to experience the same hell as her, she just wishes him the same happiness that she can finally experience every day. She thanks him for engulfing her in darkness, thanks him for helping her grow, and thanks him for pushing her further below the surface. Too many great things have come from that darkness. Too many great things have come from him.
She is thankful for her new love Aaradh for he made her realize that all guys aren’t the same. She loves him for he loved her when she couldn’t love herself. To the last she is happy with one thing that her perception of love was shown to her. All her nightmares turned into dreams again. At this point the she understands everything in life happens for a reason, and she is lucky to have a blessing after a lesson and that’s why the destiny knitted them as cousins so that they can be together forever. The belief of her about love and luck became true. From this she understood only one thing, god gives the best. And this love story continues to be the best till the end of time…